


Friend Please

by Ramaxy



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Death, Depressing, Depressing Thoughts, F/F, Inspired, M/M, Multi, Sorry Not Sorry, Suicide, TOP-freeform, Triggers, im sorry, im stresses this kind of helped, not JFH, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 12:55:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11990232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ramaxy/pseuds/Ramaxy
Summary: Jonathan was just so fucking tired.





	Friend Please

**Author's Note:**

> Shit guys sorry for this, this is very VERY triggery so if you have depressing stuff goingon... well... dont read it pls
> 
> This was inspired by Sassy Skeleton's video on youtube called Friend Please. the song is from Twenty one pilots... hope you go chekc it out after reading (if anyone reads this LOL) but... yeah
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2guTY5c7mSo Link to video, pls watch after vid and watch the second part  
> Sorry about this

Friend Please

_“_ _Hey Luke_ _…”_

_“_ _Yea Jon?_ _”_

_“…_ _What would you do if I went away_ _…_ _?_ _”_

* * *

 

**_[Friend please, remove your hands_ ** **_…_ ** **_]_ **

“Jon, Watch out!” Jonathan snapped out of his daze, looking blankly ahead of him where he almost walked straight into traffic. _Woah_ _…_ _he almost was donezo._ He looked back at the hand holding him back, watching his best friend frown at him. Jon forced a smile.

“Thanks Luke! I didn’t see that! Wooooosh, I was almost gone!” Then he cackled, making Luke roll his eyes at him.

“Be more careful Jon…” Luke admonished as they made their way to college. Jonathan followed after him quietly.

Not that Luke noticed anyways.

Just like everyone. they. never. notice.

Not his dad or his mother or anyone. Not really. They were all stuck in their own grief.

It was all _Jon_ _’_ _s_ fault.

Hisfaulthisfaulthisfaulth _isfaulthisfaulthisfault **hiSfAuLT**_ ** _—_**

“Jon, are you okay?” Luke’s worried face caught Jonathan by surprise. His eyes were filled with worry, deep concern stuck in his pools that made Jon ashamed of himself.

Others were probably suffering just as much as he was…  He was being selfish…

**_(Or was he?)_ **

“I’m fine, I… I’m just… you know… tired with…” _Everything_. Jonathan didn’t finish, but Luke understood. Luke sighed deeply, stopping beside Jon and taking him by the shoulders. He gave Jon a hard stare, Jon lowered his gaze to the floor.

“It—It wasn’t you fault. I know that-I know it must be hard for you Jon but—”

“Can we go? We’re going to be late for class.” Jonathan cut in, tone cold. Luke flinched back slightly, giving Jon the space to continue on his way, his pace a little quickened. Luke stared after him with a worried look but Jonathan didn’t see it.

He doesn’t want to talk about it.

* * *

 

[ ** _from over your eyes...]_**

“Luke, I-I need you help…” Luke turned around with a raised brow, the male behind him was giving him a frown filled with concerned. It was weird to see Evan so worried about something, especially since he was always the sheepish partner in crime for Jonathan. Which brings Luke to think that…

“Is this about Jon?” Luke asked quietly. Evan bit his lip but nodded. The other was obviously worried for Jonathan too. Luke sighed, running a hand through his ginger hair. He doesn’t know what’s going on in that head of Jon’s. Ever since…

Ever since the incident he hasn’t been the same.

He doesn’t talk as much, much less laugh. His eyes have lost the usual blue shine they had to it, the mischief they always carried was gone. He didn’t want to go out with his friends, he looked…

He looked dead inside.

“Yeah… He’s…” Evan stopped, as if trying to compose himself. The easygoing Canadian was struggling to get the words out, Luke noticed. Evan closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and continued. “He was standing on the rooftop today, just… just looking down, thoughtful as if…” Evan’s breath caught, and Luke felt his own chest tighten.

Luke wasn’t dumb. He knew Jonathan wasn’t in the best state of mind right now. The raven haired male was struggling with life, missing pieces of his former life, feeling the ground crumble and the world go to shit in a few days.

It hadn’t been easy for Jon. Neither for Luke, but Luke didn’t want to focus on his own grief at the moment. He just focused on his best friend, on his brother, who was walking down a dangerous path that Luke didn’t like where it was leading.

“As if he wanted to jump…” Luke finished for Evan. Evan stood quiet at that, but it was all the indication that Luke needed.

“I told the guys to keep an eye on him.” Evan muttered lowly, sighing as he ran a hand through his exhausted face. Luke could tell that he wasn’t the only one stressed about Jonathan’s wellbeing.

“Thanks Evan…” Luke replied to the other man. Evan smiled bitterly at him.

“I also told them to keep an eye on you. I don’t want to lose _any_ of you…” Evan continued, staring hard at Luke’s eyes, while Luke pondered on his words. Keep an eye on _him_? Why would Evan ask his guys to keep an eye on him when Jonathan was the one with the suicidal tendencies?

“I don’t understand.” Luke frowned. Evan sighed, looking away from him and focusing on a point on the distance.

“You’re like time bombs…” Luke heard him mumble sadly before he left.

Luke doesn’t know what that means.

* * *

 

[ ** _I know you want to leave_** ** _…_** ** _]_**

“Fuck you too Charles!” They were fighting again—Always fighting. Fighting because of him, fighting for him, fighting because of her, fighting at him, fightingfightingfightingh _isfaultshe_ _—_

Jon sat on his bed, staring blankly at the closed door of his room. He heard angry thuds outside, they sounded as if they were _right_ outside his door. He shook slightly, his hands trembling as he kept a death grip on his phone. He took deep breaths to calm his racing pulse, fighting against the sudden warmth that filled his room, complimenting the heated argument outside. There were more shouts and more insults and the sounds of crystal breaking everywhere.

“Fuck you! This was your fault! If you hadn’t—”

“You weren’t here! You were never here! Don’t you dare blame this on me! You’re never—”

“I have to work to keep up this excuse piece of shit family up! This is a shit murder hole, everyday it’s a fucking war and you can’t even deny it, _it_ _’_ _s not a home anymore_!”

Jonathan agreed. This wasn’t home. Not anymore. He was alone. He was worthless. He was at fault. Guilty for his sins, sins he should pay. His conscience always plagued him with his thoughts at day, his dreams haunted him with his memories at night. He couldn’t keep this up and if this was his payment so be it but he really _can_ _’_ _t hold on for much longer._

**_(He doesn_ ** **_’_ ** **_t want to do this anymore)_ **

“Home?! This hasn’t been home for a long time! Incredible it took her death for you to realize it—”

“Oh, so you’re using her death as an excuse now?! You’re trying to make me guilty, is that it?! Well you should look at your pathetic excuse of a son—”

They were right, Jon was pathetic indeed. He was worthless, trash, he was a sinner and weak and irresponsible _because it had been **his fault**_ ** _—_**

_“_ _Jon_ _…_ _Jon, watch out! **Jon**!_ _”_

_Stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop_ _—_

_“_ _J-Jon_ _…_ _Jon I_ _…”_

_DontsayitPlEAseJust **DonTLeaVeMeWIThTHIS**_ **_—_ **

_“_ _I love you_ _…”_

Jonathan’s body rocked with sobs as his hands shook harder, His breath hitching as he kept hearing the same screams he hears in his nightmares, in his dreams, in his mind, every day, every night, _alwaysalwaysalwaysalways_ _—_

He feels his phone shake in his hands and absentmindedly answers the call, not knowing who it was. The shouts outside grow louder by the second, making Jon curl in on himself as the insults diverged from his parents and himself and _her_.

He’s a disgrace. He’s a killer. He’s not worth it. Not our son. Not the same. Waste of space. Pathetic. Weak. Guilty. Idiotic. Die. Die. _Diediedie **diedDIE d I E**_

_“_ _Jon!_ _”_ Luke’s voice cut him out of his thoughts, making Jonathan notice that he was full out crying. He was out of breath, his breath was hitching, his chest was so tight god has it always been this tight before?! _“_ _Jon, can you hear me?! Shit! I_ _’_ _m coming!_ _”_ Luke’s words were distant, blurred out by a loud rhythmical thum-thum of drums and a faint ugly symphony made by something Jonathan could not quite place.

_He can_ _’_ _t breathe._

“L-Luke…” Jon whimpered breathlessly, the cold floor feeling like ice on his clammy wet face as he felt his body shut down as time went by. He was getting weaker as the seconds ticked, as the drums played, the quiet shouts and the static from his phone made an orchestra of sounds against his ears.

He faintly knew Luke was screaming at him something, outside there were also screams, but Everything was fading slightly to black and Jon still couldn’t quite breathe right but that was okay—

_“_ _J-Jon_ _…_ _I_ _…_ _I love you_ _…_

_…_ _I will-will miss_ _…_ _you_ _…”_

* * *

 

_**[but friend please don’t take…]** _

“Jonathan!” Luke shouted as he stormed through the front door of the Dennis residence. The screams died down instantly, but he paid no mind to the elders as he walked right past them, towards Jonathan’s room. He saw the other closed shut door, felt a pang of hurt hit him but he kept it down to get to Jon’s door. He banged on it, and when he got no response, he opened it in a haste.

His eyed widened at the broken figure on the floor, shaking slightly but unconscious nevertheless. He went to near his best friend when a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“You’re not wanted here!”  Luke turned to Jonathan’s father, glaring at him and pushing him away.

“I don’t fucking care! I’m here for Jon!” _Since you guys don_ _’_ _t seem to care about him!_ Went unsaid as Luke headed back inside Jon’s room, crouching beside his prone figure on the ground. He pressed his hands on the other’s neck and sighed in relief when he felt a pulse.

Then he frowned when he noticed how hot and clammy the other was, his breaths coming in labored pants instead of the normal huffs and puffs. Luke tried to shake Jonathan up but it didn’t seem to do much for his friend.

Not that Luke was trying too hard.

Jonathan was obviously stressed and sleep deprived, it could be seen in the dark bags under his eyes, the way he _rarely_ paid them (his friends) any attention, in the sluggish way he moved, in his poor academic development. It had them all on their nerves. Has had them all stressed for quite some time now.

Luke gingerly picked Jon up, frowning at the lightness of the other’s weight. He’ll have to talk to Jon about his health later. It was probably why he was in such a bad condition anyways.

Luke made his way outside, noticing that Jon’s parents were now calmer, but still glaring at him. Luke glared right back. They were doing this to Jon, this was their fault. Couldn’t they see that they were losing the other precious thing they had left?! Couldn’t they see past their guilt and differences to sort things out?! For _Jon_ _’_ _s_ sake?!

“You guys disgust me…” Luke spat at them with so much rage that he could feel his hands shaking as he was holding on to his best friend.

Not wanting to listen to any of their shit excuses, Luke left.

* * *

 

_**[your life away…]** _

_“_ _Jon, you need to slow down._ _”_ _Jessica admonished, making him roll his eyes._

_“_ _It_ _’_ _s fine Jes._ _”_ _Jon told her, swerving the car to the side teasingly, the tires skidding against the wet road before settling back on track. Jessica gave him a glare, which he returned whole heartedly. Jes sighed._

_“_ _Luke said you weren_ _’_ _t sleeping well._ _”_ _Jon gripped tighter the steerwheel, deciding to ignore her and focus on the wet road. Lightning flashed._ _“_ _He said you were distant after Terminator_ _’_ _s party_ _—”_

_“_ _Brian._ _”_ _He cut in tensely, but continued on his way. He didn_ _’_ _t want to talk about it. The party was_ _—_ _a mistake._

_“_ _I don_ _’_ _t know what happened but if you want to talk_ _—”_

_“_ _Can you shut up for once?!_ _”_ _He growled at her, making her glare at him and huff. Focusing on the road, Jon focused on her in the corner of his eyes._

_She couldn_ _’_ _t know. Because if she knew, she would tell his parents and they_ certainly _(100%)_ couldn’t **know**. _Only Ryan knew, and that was because he was partly involved with it. He_ _—_ _Jon couldn_ _’_ _t_ tell _anyone. He didn_ _’_ _t know how they would react. Ryan and he had a mutual agreement on that part._

_They would remain silent forever._

_“_ _Jon_ _…_ _Jon, Watch out!_ _”_ _Her screams made him jerk in surprise, moving the steering wheel to the side and narrowly dodging the person frozen in the road right in front of them. Jon lost control of the vehicle, the wheels screeching loudly with his sister, before something painful made him jerk forward and knocked the lights out of him, putting an end to their skidding._

**_(To her life.)_ **

“Jessica…” Jonathan moaned, opening his eyes with a phantom pain from what seemed ages ago. He looked around, frowning when he didn’t recognize his room. Where was he? Where was Jes? She was with him just seconds ago… ah…

…she… she wasn’t _here_ … not anymore…

“Jonathan…” Luke’s voice brought him out of his daze. Jon blinked back tears, taking a shaky breath.

“Wha…what’s up man…” His voice was hoarse and scratchy, Jon noted with a grimace. Luke gave him a bottle of water, which Jonathan downed heavily.

“Jon… you scared the shit out of me…” Jon remained silent, knowing that he had worried his best friend.

He knew Luke was also having some problems with… with their situation. He never went to their house anymore and most of the times he was worrying about Jon or deep in his studies (and Luke was never a studious person).

Luke was also having a bad time and here Jon was thinking about himself like the selfish bastard he was.

_Alwaysalwayssoungratefulandselfishlikeabrathewasalwaysalwaysnotworhtitpieceofshi_ _—_

“Jon…’ Luke’s trembling voice and a warmness in his shoulder snapped him out of his daze. Jonathan looked up, meeting Luke’s teary eyes. He froze. “Jon you-you _really_ worried me… don’t-you can’t keep _doing this_ _…_ _!_ _”_ Luke hissed, cleaning his tears away from his face as they fell. The older male took a deep breath, pulling away from Jon before Jon could do anything. Jonathan watched helplessly as Luke left his side and the room.

**_(They always leave, don_ ** **_’_ ** **_t they?)_ **

Jon sobbed quietly, he hurt all over. His mind hurt, his heart hurt, his body hurt, everything was just a huge mass of hurt and he couldn’t make it stop. He was just so tired of it all, so tired of not sleeping, so tired of holding on, so tired of being left alone by everyone, so tired of being treated like an outcast by his friends, tired of the pitying glances, tired of his parents shouts, just… just…

_So **fucking** tired. _

“Okay, here’s some—Jon?! Are you okay? Shit, are you hurt?” Luke almost dropped the tray of food, putting it instead on a nightstand and going to Jon’s side. He took a hold of Jon’s face, watching the tears fall steadily with a worried frown. That only made Jon sob harder because he was making Luke worry _more_ and he didn’t _want_ to worry his best friend. “Come on, talk to me, man…” Jon took a deep breath, hiccupping as he sniffled and tried to control himself.

“I’m just… I’m just so fucking _tired_ Luke…” The younger male slurred, dropping his eyes to the floor, not meeting Luke’s gaze anymore. “I don’t… I don’t think I can—”

“No, no Jon don’t _say_ that. Don’t say that man, of course you can.” Luke interrupted him in a pleading tone, putting his forehead against Jon. Jonathan closed his eyes, shaking his head. _He can_ _’_ _t, not anymore. He was weak, he can_ _’_ _t keep going, he was too tired, he wanted to rest, he wanted to be at peace, he couldn_ _’_ _t_ _—_ “Yes, you _can_ Jon. _You can_. Please Jon, look at me—listen to me, _you can_. You’re so strong. You’re not alone, you know you’re not alone, right? You have me. I’m your best friend. You also have Evan and Tyler and the rest of the crew. We’re all here for you. Please Jon, _pleasepleaseplease_ _…”_

They were both sobbing in each other’s arms, they were both grieving together. They cried until they almost passed out on the floor. Jon stared blankly at the ceiling, Luke snoring somewhere to his right. Jon couldn’t sleep as a thought circled his head all night long.

_So tired._

* * *

 

_**[from me…]** _

Luke came out of his exam with a frustrated huff.

There was one exercise that he couldn’t quite complete and the fact that the professor hadn’t taught them that monster had him quite pissed.

Taking one deep breath to calm himself from insulting the old cunt, he took out his phone. He scrunches his eyebrows when he noticed there were a shit ton of messages and missed calls. Then he froze when he noticed who they were from.

**_[(5) MISSED CALL(S) FROM_ ** **_‘_ ** **_Jonnyboy_ ** **_’_ ** **_]_ **

**_Jonnyboy [3:30]: Luke_ ** **_…_ **

**_Jonnyboy [3:30]: I need help_ **

**_Jonnyboy [3:33]: Luke I donnt think I can_ ** **_…_ ** **_I dont want_ **

**_Jonnyboy [3:35]: Luke please please help me please pleaseples_ **

**_Jonnyboy [3:40]: Oh you have classes oim sorry_ **

**_Jonnyboy [3:55]: I love you_ **

Luke began running to his apartment, his breath coming in harsh pants because no. this wasn’t supposed to happen, Jon was—Jon was doing better. He was doing _fucking_ _better_ , he was _laughing_ , he was doing fucking fine _why_ Jon why _whywhyywhywhywhy_ _…_

He forced his legs to move faster, the strain was making his body tremble because his apartment wasn’t that close to campus but fuck it if he didn’t make it to his apartment in record time but—but the fucking door the fucking door was closed fuckfuckfuckfuck—

Inside the apartment was quiet.

Luke looked around, not finding Jon in the small living room. He ventured deeper, checking the rooms before stopping in front of the bathroom door. He didn’t-he didn’t want to-He didn’t want to but Jon could be there **_but he DIDN_** ** _’_** ** _TWANTTOFUCK_** ** _—_**

Luke opened the door softly. He froze at what’s inside.

Nonononononononononononononono—

Jon was on the floor. Painted in red. Raid ribbons matching the tiles. Red strings of fate crumpled on the floor. Red everywhere.

Jonathan dressed red.

**(Red soaked Jonathan.)**

Luke’s legs trembled as he neared Jon’s unmoving form **(Lifeless)** , he couldn’t hold much longer and fell beside him **(Making a slick sickening sound)**. He took Jon’s body and cradled it against his chest. He hid Jon’s face against his chest, holding him **(Holding his corpse)** , feeling the cold soak him and settle in his bones.

He cried.

**(It was later he saw the red letter, laying innocently there.)**

**(Calling him.)**

**Author's Note:**

> Stay Alive Please


End file.
